Oct. 29, 2016

Hello Book Lovers!

Chapter One

I lay collapsed on my back, naked except for the tiara on my head. An ornate silver cheese platter rested on the bed next to me. “Hey, aren’t we supposed to be attending a surprise party tonight?” I fanned my face.

“No, Lucy.” Prince Nicholas Frederick Timmel of Fredonia picked up the tray and placed it on a nightstand. “But thanks for the appetizers.” He wrapped his muscular arms around me and squeezed me tight as he lay next to me—scratch that—for-the-most-part on top of me, on the king-size feather top bed. “We’ve attended back-to-back pre-wedding galas, cocktail parties, and family gatherings. Tonight is blessedly free. I think you’re simply exhausted from the jet lag and the time change.”

“You mean from our most recent round of toe-curling sex.” I pinched my forearm and reminded myself for the hundredth time that this was not a dream, nor had I been out boozing with my ladies-in-waiting.

“Ow!” Nick said. “You need to be nicer to HRH if you want him to make another royal appearance.”

Oops—that wasn’t my forearm.

“Sorry! I totally thought you were kidding when you told me your—I mean—the little prince’s nickname.” In a former life, I was a cocktail waitress. Now I was engaged to a real Prince, he of the black hair, the blue eyes, and the remarkable royal jewels. How could this be?

“I would never kid about HRH,” Nick said. “He can be overly-sensitive.”

“An admirable trait,” I said. “I don’t know, Nick. I distinctly remember an invitation that mentioned a surprise party. There was a photo of a woman’s finger pressed over her lips and the word ‘Shh!’ was engraved in big black letters on the cover.”

“No, Lucy. You’re remembering that time a few months ago when we visited the Viking Museum in Oslo.” He snuggled his five o’clock scruffy shadow into my cheek and nibbled on my ear. “The docent went out of her way to publicly admonish us.”

“You mean the cranky woman whose face resembled a pickle when she said ‘Shh!’ and told us to ‘cease our boisterous laughter?’”

“The very same,” he said. “I still remember her warm spittle striking my cheek when she uttered the words, ‘Hold opp!’ Emphasis on the hard d and ps.”

“Docent Marte,” I said. “Was she the one who was upset that we were kissing in public?”

“Kissing?” He waggled his eyebrows. “She complained that I was fondling your—”

“Right,” I said and mimicked Docent Marte’s outraged alto voice, complete with her thick accent. “‘Only women who are BREASTFEEDING are allowed to go TOPLESS in the Royal Viking Museum!’ Jeez! I was totally not topless.”

Nick smiled. “Well sweetie, you kind of were—”

“A nipple slip is technically not topless. I think she was jealous. You had your haircut that week, Nick, and you looked exceptionally handsome. Very rugged. Very royal.”

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Royally-Wed-Romantic-Ladies-Waiting-ebook/dp/B01MDM950Z
iBooks: https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/book/royally-wed/id1163453707?mt=11
Nook: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/royally-wed-pamela-dumond/1124831212?ean=2940157046200
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-ca/ebook/royally-wed-a-romantic-comedy

Royally Wed #Two
Ladies-in-Waiting: Book Three

Lucy, Prince Nicholas, and the Ladies-in-Waiting are up to trouble in Book Three! Available for pre-order and on shelves soon!

Pre-order iBooks: https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/book/royally-wed-two/id1165537730?mt=11

PRAISE for The Ladies-in-Waiting Romantic Comedy Series:

“It’s My Fair Lady meets Ms. Congeniality…” ~ Sara Steven at Chick Lit Central Blog

“Why can’t I be a Part-Time Princess?! Amazing, I loved this book!!” ~ London Dreaming

“AHHHHH I LOVELOVELOVE this Book!” ~ Maryam Dinzly

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In Cat and Book News:

I checked my sanity at the door, wrote, and published a hilarious Secret Agent Cat Mystery.

To Live and Let Lie
A Theodore von Pumpernickle Secret Agent Cat Mystery, #1

Theodore von Pumpernickle looks like a mild mannered, domesticated, long-haired cat living a quiet life in the seaside village of Venice Beach, California.

Looks can be deceiving, can’t they?

In reality, Theodore is a Secret Agent Cat Double O Nine, working undercover for the Pet Intelligence Agency (P.I.A.) spying on evil masterminds and diabolical geniuses that seek chaos and world domination.

When Theodore’s bejeweled cat food bowl (worth ONE MILLION DOLLARS) is stolen, he takes on an international cartel of criminals trafficking in priceless stolen jewels.

With the help of other P.I.A. agents: Flyby the carrier pigeon, Mozart the German shepherd dog, and Susan — the eighty-five year old Super Spy, Theodore dives into dangerous espionage waters where he is forced to use all his Double O Nine brains, brawn, and special gadgets.

Will the evil masterminds and their minions win at last — or will Theodore von Pumpernickel, Secret Agent Cat save the day?

Real Spy recipes included. Grab this hilarious book!

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Live-Let-Lie-Theodore-Pumpernickle-ebook/dp/B01LYCO6T0
iBooks: https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/book/to-live-and-let-lie/id1137493669?mt=11
B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/to-live-and-let-lie-pamela-dumond/1124718672?ean=2940156783533
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/ebook/to-live-and-let-lie

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My YA Time Travel book THE MESSENGER (Mortal Beloved, #1) will be FREE next week on Free Booksy at the following sites. It is NOT permafree, so grab it while you can.

Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Messenger-Mortal-Beloved-Travel-Romance-ebook/dp/B007T07YU8#nav-subnav
iBooks: https://geo.itunes.apple.com/us/book/the-messenger/id944453050?mt=11
B&N: http://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/the-messenger-pamela-dumond/1112924256
Kobo: https://store.kobobooks.com/en-us/ebook/the-messenger-36

Thanks for hanging out!
Talk with you soon!

Xo,
Pam

3/22/16

Happy Spring!

My very funny book — Cupcakes, Pies, and Hot Guys — is free for a limited time.

Cupcakes, Pies, and Hot Guys

PRAISE:

“…This was a fantastic read, keeping my attention and imagination going till the end of the book.” Amazon Reviewer.

“I loved this book…my first by this author.” Amazon Reviewer.

Annie Graceland’s a baker with a pinch of psychic ability. She’s empathic – can feel other people’s lusts and desires in her own body. But Annie’s recently acquired a spookier skill – she can see and talk to ghosts. And much to her dismay, they also talk to her – nagging her incessantly to solve their murders.

Annie’s happily dating hunky Detective Raphael Campillio in Los Angeles, when her mom signs her up to be a judge at Wisconsin’s first annual Hot Guys Contest. Who cares if it’s 4th of July weekend with scorching temperatures? It’s a free trip home to Wisconsin. What could possibly go wrong?

When hometown hot guy, Mr. Oconomowoc, is killed and doesn’t pass to the Afterlife, he begs Annie to investigate his murder. Now she’s not only a pageant judge, but also meddling with a motley crew of suspects.

It doesn’t help that Detective Jamie Ryan, a boy from Annie’s past, is all grown up, sexy as sin, and determined to make her fall for him. Going back home can be sweet as frosting or worse than a cake wreck. The temperature’s rising at the Hot Guys Contest….

The big sale is on 3/25/16 with BOOKBUB. 

But in the meantime you can find Hot Guys for FREE here:

Hot Guys on iBOOK

Hot Guys on AMAZON

Hot Guys on AMAZON UK

Hot Guys on AMAZON CANADA

Hot Guys on NOOK

Hot Guys on KOBO

This book sale ends midnight on 3/28/16. So grab your Hot Guys now!

In Hair News, here’s the update from 3/16/16. We’re still weaving in the blonde with the silver. I’m loving it.

In Cat News:

Romeo the Bengal has starting sleeping with me on chilly nights. Unfortunately he hogs the bed, and wakes me up by stabbing me with one claw if I accidentally bump into him. Lola the Black Cat has taken up birdwatching from the kitchen window.

Sign up for my newsletter somewhere on the right side of this page for first dibs on breaking news at Casa de DuMond.

xoxo,

Pamela DuMond